Friday, November 8, 2013

Pass the Coffee- A Morning of Chaos Part 1

I slept through the night. What a great feeling. The older I get, the more I find myself watching TV at 3am. Asher kept me up the night before, barking at some woodland intruder for so long that I finally turned the flood lights on, opened the door, and shut him up.

Still groggy, I shuffle to the kitchen for my morning dose of caffeine. Blurry eyed, I stare out the window to see which of my critters are out and about gleaning acorns and yellow leaves. It isn't critters that catch my gaze.... is water pouring from the spigot by the duck trough! Lordy, please tell me this wasn't gushing all night.

I slam on my boots and rush outside. Dang, these socks fall down in boots. No time to change. Something shiny, look there are duckings this morning. I wasn't expecting that. Obviously, I couldn't even get a decent picture. No time, dollar bills are pouring down the hill.

Asher wants to play. Did he play with the spigot? Bad dog. No wonder he was so quiet, he found something to occupy his overactive LGD brain.

An aside: as I write this, right on schedule, the keyboard in my Dell laptop died again. Every six months without fail, only now it's out of warranty. I'm using an external keyboard, which keeps going out. Batteries? I check them. When did batteries start corroding? They never did this growing up that I can recall. Probably some government regulation, you know, the same kind that won't let us buy incandescent light bulbs. I hate fluorescent light.

Back to the story....

The whole spigot is blown off the pipe. Must shut water off at road. My socks are at my toes now. I run to the RTV. Cole tries to catch a duckling. Mama duck attacks dropping a stinky duck bomb down the front of his sweater. I drive off.

At the road, I pry the top off the meter box. Nothing says on/off. There is a family of mice starting at me with inky rodent eyes, wondering why I allowed a draft into their cozy moss nest. There are a series of bolts and a digital meter. I am going to need tools. Back in the RTV driving recklessly down the gravel drive, things flying off the back- there goes the dog leash. No time to stop, dollar bills are pouring down the hill.

Back at the box and armed with a wrench, I call a friend who is also a plumber. Hubby calls in. He feels bad that he's not there to solve the crisis. No time, dollar bills and all. Plumber-friend says turn stem closest to road 1/4 turn. The mice are not happy with me. I kick up a cloud of dust flying back down the drive. Water is still pouring! Now my pink flowered nighty, cozy grey cardigan, and athletic pants are covered in mud. I don't have to match to go to bed!

Back up the hill. Hi mice. Hey wait, what is this? I brush away the leaves and find another box behind the meter box. I open it. Big Red Toggle. On. Off. Duh. I turn. Back to the house.

Cole wants a shower to clean off the duck bomb. I usually have to insist they bathe and now he wants a shower at 8am. We have no water, dude. I wash my muddy hands off with the dregs of last night's water glass and paper towels. I ignore what's under my fingernails.

"Who's here mom?" It's plumber-friend. I look at my muddy pink nighty. Eek. Yesterday's shirt is still out in bedroom- see there are advantages for not hanging up your clothes in a timely manner. No time for a bra. I throw it on with the exercise pants. It will have to do.

Plumber-friend glues on a new spigot. I have to hold Asher back. Plumber-friend smells like Great Dane. Scilla wants to see. "Cole, get Scilla out of the way." Plumber-friend says the turn-off I'd been searching for was under "all the moss". Sorry about your nest, mice.

I can turn the water back on in 20 minutes. I need to milk. Cole needs a shower. I need coffee. Pictures of ducklings to come.

1 comment:

  1. wow, what a morning.
    Hope you get minute to catch your breath!